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I Never Dreamed That One Day I'd Become A Grumpy Old Man But Here I Am Killing it!
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Duct Tape. It Can't Fix Stupid, But It Can Muffle The Sound
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Fun-cle Similar To A Dad Only Cooler And Better Looking Handsom, Exceptional
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Save The Chubby Unicorn
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That's A Horrible Idea What Time
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SaleShhh… No One Cares
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In My Defense I Was Left Unsupervised
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I Just Know I'll Die Trying To Pet Something I Shouldn't
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People In Sleeping Bags Are The Soft Tacos Of the Bear World
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Sawdust is Man Glitter
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You Had Me At "We'll Make It Look Like An Accident"
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Dogs Because People Suck
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There's No Need To Repeat Yourself. I Ignored You Just Fine The First Time
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I'M An Adult, But Not Like A Real Adult
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Wake Up Be Awesome Be Kind Repeat
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Aren't We Taking The Idea That Anyone Can Be President A Little To Far?
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Don't Believe The Internet Because A Picture With Quote Next To It-Abraham Lincoln
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I Am Not Responsible For What My Face Does When You Talk
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The Older I Get, The More Everyone Can Kiss My Ass
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Sometimes I Have To Tell Myself, It's Just Not Worth The Jail Time
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SalePat McCrotch
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You Ever Have One Of Those Days? Fuck: Off, You, Me, Us, It, Everything, This
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NoBody Needs An AR15? Nobody Needs A Whiny Little Bitch Either, Yet Here You Are
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Without Music Life Would B Flat
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