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Religious
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Hi I Don't Care Thanks
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I Paused My Game To Be Here
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Lets Go Brandon
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People Should Seriously Stop Expecting Normal From Me We All Know It's Never
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Sometimes I Pretend To Be Normal, But It Gets Boring So I Go Back Being Me
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Top Dad
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Except for bears
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My Opinion Offended You Hear What I Keep To Myself
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People Keep Thinking That I Care Weird
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I Never Argue I Just Explain Why I'm Right
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A.D.D
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You Know The Little Thing Inside Your Head That Keeps Saying Things You Shouldn't
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Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy Sometime I Let Her Sleep
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When I Was A Kid No Wait I Still Do That
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Sometimes I Question My Sanity. Occasionally It Replies.
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Always Give Houndred Percent Unless You're Donating Blood
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The Voices Are Back Excellent
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Sarcastic Comment Loading
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Morningwood Lumber
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When You're Dead Difficult For Others Same Way When You're Stupid
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I'm Not Lazy, I Just Enjoy Doing Nothing
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Can't Hear You I'M Gaming
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Thinking Please Be Patient
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This Is Not A Drill
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It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Looses A Weiner
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You Pick Size We Pick Design
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You Find It Offensive I Find It Funny. That's Why I'm Happier Than You
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Sawdust is Man Glitter
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I Wish I Were A Nicer Person But Then I Laugh
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My People Skills Are Fine. It's My Tolerance To Idiots That Needs Work
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Some People Just Need A Pat On The Back
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Of Course I Talk To Myself Sometimes I Need Expert Advice
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I Make Beer Disappear What's Your Super Power
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Remember, If You Can't Say Anything Nice Make It Funny
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Realists The Only Ones Who Knows What Is Going On
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Yes I Do Have A Beautiful Daughter I Also Have A Gun, A Shovel & An Alibi
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The Original Computer
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Trust Me, You Can Dance. - Alcohol
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Elemeno
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Best Dad In The Galaxy
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Alcohol First Then Relatives
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I'm Mom's Favorite
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Remember When I Asked For Your Opinion? Yeah...Me Neither
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Stop You're Under A Rest
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You Look Really Stupid With Your Head Like That
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I'm Fine
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Some People Just Need A Sympathetic Pat...On The Head...With A Hammer
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The Difference Between A Beer And Your Opinion Is That I Asked For A Beer
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Just Pretend I'm Not Here That's What I'm Doing
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Some Days, It's Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Restraints
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I'm not anti-social. I'm selectively social. There's a difference
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Staff
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Sometimes I Drink Water Just To Suprise My Liver
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I Got Your Back
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Duct Tape. It Can't Fix Stupid, But It Can Muffle The Sound
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I Wear This Shirt Periodically
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Great Dads Get Promoted To Grandpas
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Ah! The Element Of Surprise
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Best Dad Ever
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People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes.
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If You're Offended I'll Help You Pack
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I Am Currently Unsupervised I know, It Freaks Me Out Too But The Possibilities
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I Washed My Hands Before It Was Cool
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My Wife Is psycHOTic
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Black Lives Matter
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Well That's Not A Good Sign
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It's Ok If You Disagree With Me. I Can't Force You To Be Right
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Can Only Please One Person A Day Today Isn't Your Day Tomorrow Doesn't Look Good
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6 Out Of 7 Dwarfs Are Not Happy
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333 Only Half Evil
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A Day Without Internet Probably Won't Kill Me, But Why Take The Chance
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Just because i'm awake doesn't mean i'm ready to do things
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Keep Talking I'm Diagnosing You
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I'm Going To Go Stand Outside, So If Anyone Asks, I'm Outstanding
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WTF - Where's The Fish
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Lead Me No Into Temptation Follow Me I Know A Shortcut
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7 Days Without A Pun Makes One Weak
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I'm Not Getting Older I'm Just Becoming a Classic
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I'm Going To Go Stand Outside, So If Anyone Asks, I'm Outstanding
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My Headphones are In Stop Talking
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Men Have Feelings Too. For Example, Sometimes, We Feel Hungry.
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My Drinking Team Has A Bowling Problem
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The Father
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I Never Dreamed That One Day I'd Become A Grumpy Old Man But Here I Am Killing it!
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
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My People Skills Are Fine. It's My Tolerance To Idiots That Needs Work
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Never Trust An Atom They Make Up Everything
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Smile It Makes People Wonder What You Are Up To
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I'm Already Bored On Behalf Of Tomorrow
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People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes.
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I May Be Old, But I Got To See All The Cool Bands
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Sawdust is Man Glitter
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Four Twenty Clock
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A.D.D
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A Scientific Study Shows That If You Are Reading This...You Are Not Blind
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420 Pot Leaf
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F It Im Going Hunting
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Yes I Do Have A Beautiful Daughter I Also Have A Gun, A Shovel & An Alibi
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A.D.D
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6 Out Of 7 Dwarfs Are Not Happy
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A Scientific Study Shows That If You Are Reading This...You Are Not Blind
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I Got Your Back
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I Would Lose Weight But I Hate Losing
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A Day Without Fishing Probably Won't Kill Me But Why Take The Chance
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3 Out Of 4 Voices In My Head Want To Sleep The Other Wants To Know If Penguins
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68 You Owe Me One
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CHEESE HUGS
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You Read My Shirt...That's Enough Social Interaction
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You Think I'm Condescending Do You Even Know What That
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I Love Sleeping It's Like Being Dead Without The Commitment
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You're Pointless
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333 Only Half Evil
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Alcohol - Because No Good Story Ever Started With A Salad
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Its All Shits And Giggles Until Someone Giggles And Shits
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Silence Is Golden Duct Tape Is Silver.
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Never Forget
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Sometimes I Pretend To Be Normal, But It Gets Boring So I Go Back Being Me
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Alcohol Disinfecting People From The Inside For Centuries
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NEVER ARGUE
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