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I Paused My Game To Be Here
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Dear Santa, I Can Explain.
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Duct Tape. It Can't Fix Stupid, But It Can Muffle The Sound
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People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes.
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SaleWorld's Tallest Elf
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Well That's Not A Good Sign
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You Read My Shirt...That's Enough Social Interaction
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Silence Is Golden Duct Tape Is Silver.
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SaleShhh… No One Cares
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Always Jingle All The Way Nobody Likes A Half A**ed Jingler
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My Opinion Offended You Hear What I Keep To Myself
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Sometimes I Pretend To Be Normal, But It Gets Boring So I Go Back Being Me
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Permanently On The Naughty List
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You Find It Offensive I Find It Funny. That's Why I'm Happier Than You
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In My Defense I Was Left Unsupervised
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Just Pretend I'm Not Here That's What I'm Doing
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Can't Hear You I'M Gaming
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I'm Not Lazy, I Just Enjoy Doing Nothing
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Great Dads Get Promoted To Grandpas
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My Silence Doesn't Mean I Agree With You. It's Just That Your Level Of Ignorance
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Santa Doesn't Believe In You Either
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If I'm Ever On Life Support Unplug Me Then Plug Me Back In See If That Works
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Also Available In Sober
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Naughty Nice Tried My Best
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SaleBest Dog Dad Ever
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I Never Argue I Just Explain Why I'm Right
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I Came I Saw I Forgot What I Was Doing.
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I might Look Like I'm Doing Nothing But In my Head I'm Quite Busy
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Coffee Spells Backwards is Eeffoc
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I Know Everything Happens for a Reason, But What The Heck?
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Not to Brag Or Anything But I can forget what I'm doing
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The Tree Isn't The Only Thing Getting Lit This Year
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SaleMistlestoned
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Fun Fact! I Don't Care
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SaleWorld's Okayest Boss
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Daduation! When your Kids finally get the HELL OUT OF THE HOUSE
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SaleSanta's Favorite
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Gym Squad, Graphic Tee
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On my Husband's Last Nerve
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Day Drinking <3 Heart Shirt
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I'm Sexy And I Snow It
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I like Big Bucks Shirt
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I Overthink, Therefore I am
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Worlds Silliest Goose
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The Idiots Are Always The Loudest In The Room
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I'm Only A Morning Person On Dec. 25th
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I'm Not Wearing Any Underwear.
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Coffee AM Wine PM New
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Ho Ho Holy Sh*t I'm Drunk
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Did You Eat A Bowl Of Stupid For Breakfast? New
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I Can't I Have Plans In The Garage
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Fun-cle Similar To A Dad Only Cooler And Better Looking Handsom, Exceptional
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Sarcastic Comment Loading
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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Except for bears
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Senior Citizen Texting Codes
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The Original Computer
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Every Once In A While Someone Amazing Comes Along And Here I Am
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When People Ask Dumb Questions, I Feel Obligated To Give Sarcastic Answers
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SaleI Pooped Today
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I'd Love To Explain It To You But I Don't Have Any Crayons
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I Ate Some Pi And It Was Delicious
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I Am An Enganeer Engeneer Enginear I'm Good With Math
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Ah! The Element Of Surprise
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SaleThis Is Only A Drill
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SaleGet Real Be Rational
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SaleBacon Elements
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It's Really Weird Being The Same Age As Old People
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Common Sense is Like Deodorant
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I Lost An Electron Are You Positive
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PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ANNOY THOSE OF US THAT DO
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SaleI Nap Periodically
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A Moment Of Science Please
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NASA Official Meatball Logo
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Dear Math I'm Not Your Therapist
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I created a Monster, She Calls me Dad
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Come To The Math Side We Have Pi
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SaleDad Tax, Dad Shirt
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I'm 35% Funny And 75% Bad At Math
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